Letting go

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Author – Anooja Sodhi

Nature has always taught us how to live and how to practice acceptance. Autumn tells us how beautiful it is to let go and spring glorifies nature’s relationship with the new.

When leaves fall off a tree, does a tree let go off the leaves or the leaves let go off the tree? Or they both let go off each other? Does the tree mourn its loss or do the leaves shed a tear? Maybe they do. The tree goes through a period of mourning yet stands tall waiting for life to happen yet again. And then suddenly it is bestowed with love in the form of new leaves. And there begins another season of love and relationship.

The leaves gracefully let go of their meaningful lives, allowing for the new to emerge and evolve.

Letting go or saying goodbye is never easy, it is a painful process. We all must let go at some point in time. Let go off people, let go off memories, let go off past, let go off disappointments, let go off bitterness, let go off crying and also let go off life. But what makes it so agonising? A lot of us would say attachment makes it difficult to let go. Is attachment toxic then? No, without attachment one cannot experience relationships. Attachment allows you to be the best version of yourself in a relationship. Then why does it hurt so much?

If you look deeply attachment is not what makes letting go off things difficult. It is the fear of vacuum or void or the unknown that hurts us more. We all lose people whom we value in life. Some we lose to death and some we lose to circumstances. But do we practice acceptance of loss or accepting the fact that we must let go? We do not, for we are anticipate loneliness, vacuum, or the void we so dread.

We lack the wisdom to utilise that vacuum or void to self-reflect, to accept our weaknesses and to work on our strengths, to go through the process of bereavement and crying which will cleanse our heart and soul and prepare us for something new. We lack the vision to see beyond grief, to visualise a life that would be more mature, wise, and giving. We tend to hold the memories, people, thoughts so tight that we grow tired of our own selves and eventually lose ourselves.

Look at that tree which has shed all its leaves and is still standing tall. Grieving the loss but not losing its identity. Hoping and believing that one day love will find its way and grow on its branches. The tree is attached to the leaves, nourishing them, and experiencing life together. But when the time comes, the tree knows that it has to let go. And the tree does it gracefully and with dignity, not losing itself in the process. The hope of a new beginning lingers in the air and during that period of loneliness or solitude the tree reflect, gathers its wisdom and strength, and prepares itself for the next season.

What stops us from letting go gracefully? Turn that loneliness into solitude. Know yourself, understand your emotions, reflect, ponder, pause, and breathe. Do not fight. Do not hold tight, open your hand and release to what you cling. Let go and allow something new to enter. The new will help you evolve like the old did. Let go off the fear and apprehension. Just like we exhale and let go off our breath to stay alive, we have to let go off emotions, people and memories to continue living. If we hold our breath for too long, we suffocate, then why not let go and live.

As Dr.Harivansh Rai Bachchan so aptly wrote:

“जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम

थे उसपर नित्य निछावर तुम

वह सूख गया तो सूख गया

मधुवन की छाती को देखो

सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ

मुर्झाई कितनी वल्लरियाँ

जो मुर्झाई फिर कहाँ खिली

पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर

कब मधुवन शोर मचाता है

जो बीत गई सो बात गई”

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